I made it!

 I have to say going threw addiction is very powerful I truly thought I would be ok getting off methadone well holy shit!!! I finished my last drink on last Thursday  5mg and wow ! This was probably the biggest test in my whole life not to fall down and use. I never expected to go threw what I went threw. I was in a state of hysteria, confusion, emotional and scared. If their was a choice to die I almost would have took that choice.

I am 34 and it has been a frig gin stuggle to get where I am. As bad as things where I managed to keep it together  thanks to my community center that I use when things get scary.

Well thank god that my doctor kept my file open but I am still a little upset that this shit has this much POWER over people. No one should have to suffer for doing the right thing. I went to the hospital twice what a joke if you are and addict and doing the right thing forget about it. I was treated like a junkie a lire a piece of shit they don't care about you if you are doing the right thing or not they just see JUNKIE.

So I wen't through some serious withdraws and pretty much wanted to die BUT their is this thing inside of me that wan'ts to live and I know now that I can do this I made threw some real crappy things in my life and this just another one of those things that I had to go threw and it made me a stronger person.