Wednesday 31 August 2011

Julian Marley-Boom Draw - YouTube

Julian Marley-Boom Draw - YouTube:

'via Blog this'This song makes me feel like their is hope and life is what you make. I smoke everyday it calms me down makes me understand things better,works great for chronic pain. I truly believe that "Herb is the healing of the Nation" quote Bob Marley. It's True

Tuesday 30 August 2011

PISSED OFF'ED!

I have a lot to say what are we doing here? and what are we supposed to do here? Life is really complicated and I am so confused! It seems to me and this is just my opinion everything we do we are told to do it By WHO? I don't really know but I am sure it has to do with the Freemasons, Have you ever heard of the secret society it is something like that. OK what I am trying to say is that the whole western world wan'ts peace but yet they keep going to WAR and the war on drugs in the western world what a joke our government sells drugs like Oxycontin, Morphine and any other pill that can cause serious problems like addiction,robbery and violence. All I wan't is to deal with sensible people who don't wan't to cause problems but solve them. Is it that hard to have common sense I do not understand what the world is about it seems to me you live, you DIE! 

It is not rocket science you take care of yourself and your family , love each other and live in peace and happiness. But how can we do this with all of the problems in  the world. I am sure of this I do not believe that there will be peace because of all the hater's out there men,woman.teens, government officials and people all over the world.

If the END of the world is coming maybe that is a good thing. Earth has been around for 4 billion years and outer space has no end evolution has evolved what is next? No one should be poor or hungry we need to stand together and stop the hate!!! 

Wednesday 24 August 2011

I made it!

 I have to say going threw addiction is very powerful I truly thought I would be ok getting off methadone well holy shit!!! I finished my last drink on last Thursday  5mg and wow ! This was probably the biggest test in my whole life not to fall down and use. I never expected to go threw what I went threw. I was in a state of hysteria, confusion, emotional and scared. If their was a choice to die I almost would have took that choice.

I am 34 and it has been a frig gin stuggle to get where I am. As bad as things where I managed to keep it together  thanks to my community center that I use when things get scary.

Well thank god that my doctor kept my file open but I am still a little upset that this shit has this much POWER over people. No one should have to suffer for doing the right thing. I went to the hospital twice what a joke if you are and addict and doing the right thing forget about it. I was treated like a junkie a lire a piece of shit they don't care about you if you are doing the right thing or not they just see JUNKIE.

So I wen't through some serious withdraws and pretty much wanted to die BUT their is this thing inside of me that wan'ts to live and I know now that I can do this I made threw some real crappy things in my life and this just another one of those things that I had to go threw and it made me a stronger person.  

Monday 22 August 2011

GOING NUTS!

Hello I  am still awake methadone is poison. I am not sure what to do ,I am going to see the doctor first thing and somebody better help me I have worked way to hard to stay clean and I for sure do not want to use PILLS.

Here's the thing I am going to do what ever it takes I want my life BACK. This is the hardest thing to go through it like your life is flashing before your eyes,that's scary. I am sure that I can do the right thing but I am not going to lie this SUCKS SHIT!

Saturday 20 August 2011

Marijuana good or bad!

 Marijuana has been around for thousands of years and has been used as a pain killer. Marijuana is good because it makes me feel normal I have tried every antidepressant and every other pill out there and they don't work quick thought people like me don't need pills because lets say something goes wrong and you get upset  I am mad I don't wan't to live anymore and you take all the pills bang your dead! Now if you are upset you take few puffs and things will get better I am pretty sure if you tied to smoke an ounce you could not do it and you would be a sleep or starving!  What I am trying to say is know one has ever died from pot.

Marijuana has helped me threw some hard times like right now. I am tierd of people say people who smoke pot are dumb. Well I am not dumb!!! I went to school for bit smoked a joint right before class and let me say this I did better then ,then when in high school why is this because marijuana opens the mind and is the "healing of the nation" quote Bob Marley.

Marijuana is good for me I have, adhd ,post traumatic stress syndrome a broken wrist and sleep deprivation . Why would I want to take pills pills and more pills. It is not about getting high it is about feeling right with your self and being a good citizen. But the government wan'ts to throw people like me in jail man is that ever wrong.

Marijuana is a plant it is natural and has many benefits pills are man made think about it!

Bugging out just a little!

 Sometimes I don't feel right, Like right now I just came off methadone day 2 and I can say this shit sucks. Sit up sit down you think you are going nuts ,  On a scale of 1 to 10 I say 5 one minute I am ok And then Bam things are crappy. But here's what I am trying to say I don't care how bad it gets' there is No way I will go down this road again.

Well here's what I think of drug addiction. There are times when you think that you are ok and there is nothing wrong ,you just wan't to have fun, when I was younger like 10 i started to smoke cigeretts ,11 had my first beer at the age of 12 I told this kid that was trying to hit on my girlfriend to steal me a bottle of booze I still don't know why I choose to do that but hers what happened I got drunk at school with a friend. Let's just say a 12 year old should not drink I was wasted I woke up in the nurses office with a circle of teachers and cop and my mom Shit! I can remember driving home hanging out the window of my moms car saying weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!

So I get home what a hangover puke, puke and puke,some more. When I woke up my mom told me now go tell tour father what you did. Well I was not sure what he was going to say considering that both my parents are alcoholics. He said aw for fuck sake stupid what were you thinking and the next day took me to baseball game in Toronto.

Addictions start in my opinion because people's family life is bad,friends you hang out with like the wrong crowd. Once we start we can't stop it is so hard. I myself  at the age of 34 can really say this has been quite an experience. But I never want to go through that again. I just want what everyone else wan'ts to be happy. 

Friday 19 August 2011

Your Conscience!

Do you ever wonder how are brain works and how our conscience comes in to play. Well I would like to share some of my thoughts! You wake up and it starts your brain is on it really never shuts off and what is next is your day going to be good or bad. We listen to our conscience and hope for the best. It seems to me that we have to fight the urge every day but if you think about it we are a living beings and have been here for thousands of years. What did we do then we had to live yes we have evolved but I am pretty sure they had a conscience too.

My brain makes me wonder if I am going nuts sometimes and I think I am NUTS. But I as I go on it sort of makes sense. Again it is about choices and making the right one, and I am sure we all would want to choose the wrong one or the one that would make you feel better when in reality it will make it worse. Life lessons you got love it "not" it can be scary thinking all the time what am I doing here and why am I here? and what is right ? We all have differnt beliefs and religions and that is a great thing. Freedom I never really thought about it until I got locked up and I could not shut off my brain nightmares thinking thinking and some more, it felt like there is this movie going on in your head and somebody hit the repeat button.

Now I have more control of my conscience and make better decisions why? because I don't fill my body full of booze or pills or cocaine so if anyone is wondering why life is hard listen to the GOOD side of your conscience it takes time and time you have I am 99.9% sure know one wants to live in misery I sure don't want to,until next time keep on fighting that conscience.